Things have changed, continued

August 31, 2010 § Leave a comment

Might as well get straight to the point: After almost 20 years, three children, many smiles, many heartaches, countless accomplishments, and moments big and small that I’ll treasure forever, I am one signature away from being divorced.

At some point soon, she’ll write 13 very familiar characters on a piece of paper. The last six characters spell out my last name, the one she took on Oct. 6, 1990. It’ll still be her name, because it’s the name of her children. But it won’t be our name anymore.

The reasons are only relevant to her and me. The damage is done. The anger and hurt remain, but they’re slowly being replaced by hope and rebuilding. The fear is largely gone; the thing that I was afraid of, the thing that I first started seeing signs of 10 months ago, well, it happened. We both gave it our best. Our best wasn’t good enough. And we’re finding our ways to move on.

Her way is to start nursing school, in which she’s currently kicking ass. In two years, she’ll be a professional healer, a role she has been playing for years for no pay and a role for which she is tailor-made.

Over the last several months, I’ve had the support of some of the best people on the planet, my friends and extended family. I’ll never be able to repay that, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying.

Our focus now is on the three living breathing symbols of our love. Our children are doing well, and we’re doing the best we can for them as parenting partners. She and I agree on all of the things that matter going forward, and the only thing that really matters is that when in doubt, our children come first.

It’s impossible to sum up our life together in a few words, a few paragraphs, a few gigabytes. The last nine years are chronicled in this forum, and remain available for when I want to relive the good and remember the otherwise.

It was a wonderful ride, and except for the end, it was everything for which I had hoped. I’ll leave it at that for now.


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